Genuine advice for a divorced women
Assalam Alaikum everyone, this probably would be very long but I would just like to vent myself out. I, 29F recently went through separation and and seeked khula from a marriage that sounds long on paper because I had my Nikah done in 2019 just for paper work since I had to move to Canada , but technically it was a 3year marriage after I moved to canada and starter living together , so everyone can count it in a different way . After I moved to canada and after few months in 2022 in the month of ramadan I got to know that my ex husband was talking to men in a very inappropriate way ( sexting) and on confronting he accepted that he was a bisexual and blamed it on me saying that I was not being good enough thats why it was happening and as a fool I accepted and gave him a chance ( he begged me not to tell anyone and I was scared to hurt my family so I didn't tell a single person) and from that day until arpil 2026 he had been cheated on me min 30-40 times and I didn't had courage to talk to anyone also cz I belonged to a simpe traditional family, I just didn't want to stress anyone and I pretended everything was good , also because he was really good with my family and took care of me on the other hand and the only reason I gave him so many chances was I believed he was good man and I thought he loved me
I was soo hurt when I found out the last time that I told my parents evrything and they handled it so well that I regretted not telling them before , they called me back to India and I left my job and everything and came back to them not with the intention of breaking this marriage but I thought he would cross oceans and flip the world to be with me and fight for me , but I was dissapointed , he begged me to not leave him when I had my flight but when I came to India he asked all his family to not talk with me and everyonr just cut me out , ( till date I dont know if any of them knows y I left) my parents asked him to commit in front of his family and my family according to Sharia that he would not do it again and he said he won't commit , if I cannot trust his words that he won't commit it then I should not come back.
Thinking that what I had demanded was so much bare minimum and he failed to provide me even the smallest commitment I asked when I forgived me multiple times and I was there with him when he had nothing , built a life financially supported him through everything and I got a no at the end just so he could keep his dignity and after talking to all the Islamice experts I decided to take a khula , fast forward to this day , when I sit and think if it was a right decision after so long years , will I be able to find a right patner in future it just scares me , I don't want to be a burden on my family even when they say they will do everything for me and I am so grateful to have them , I have decided to move back to Canada a different city and continue pursuing my journey towards dental licensing and start my life again .
I just want to ask how does a everyonr sees a divorced women who had a marriage that lasted quite a while , I am particularly very patient hence the reason why I took so many years to decide to get separated, and discussion would be welcome I really need to talk it out
Posted Sep 8, 2026, 11:40 AM UTC