I think it’s time

Hi im 18(m) and i just graduated high school…a few months ago huhu…but im thinking of ending it all tomorrow. But i just wanted to tell a story idc if it’s cringe but i just want to let it out.

When i was 16 we had a blood test at our school to check if we had thalassemia. The test was after recess time and i didn’t eat anything. So, when it was time for my turn to draw my blood, i was feeling okay, i didnt feel anything wrong when i was in the nurse’s office but as soon as i walked out of the room my head became so light and heavy, my vision blurred and all i see is this dark red vision, like a pool of blood. Its like a headache but my vision is blurry and dark i couldn’t see anything, but i manage to climb up the stairs to my class. But luckily one of my classmate went to tell the nurse and immediately rushed to me where i was crawling on the floor to my classroom. They handed me something sweet and asked me to rest.

From that day onwards i’ve been chasing that feeling again because my dumbass thought i was so close to death. But after that incident i lowkey sh and tried to get that feeling again. Call me cringe or whatever but during that time my parents divorced and my life was hell,there is more stuff that contributes to my sh but i won’t be saying that.

Ok that’s it thank you for reading, if anyone is even reading this❤️