Runner’s Remorse

Ok I feel horrible about this. I just need to say it somewhere without consequence in hopes that it relieves some of the guilt.

So for the record, I was raised in the church. Happily, I might add. I was a good kid, good high schooler, mostly good in college and into adulthood. I never smoked or did drugs. I rarely drank.
I’m now 40 and with a wife and kids. I keep fit despite the graying of some hairs on the side of my head. My age is starting to show but it hasn’t affected my body yet. I feel strong and healthy.

I get some attention from women at church and baristas out in the world but nothing like what happened this week.

So, I love trail running. I do it multiple times a week.
My favorite trail is this lollipop shape with an overlook at the top of the “sucker.” One way in, then it’s a big loop and one way back out.
Anyway, I run at that location at least once a week.

I was up there running and it was early enough that no one was on the trail. I turned onto the loop portion and after one lap I crossed paths with a fit 20something running the opposite direction.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice her or did think she was attractive but I didn’t say or do anything! Seriously.

So we pass each other but she is also running but in the opposite direction so sure enough on the opposite side of the loop we cross each other again. This time we give the runners classic head nod and quiet exhale, “hi.”
Pass again on the other side. We know this is going to keep happening so I’m kind of laughing at the situation think how silly it is and how many more times it could happen, so this time I have a big grinning smile and smirk and laugh and overtly say, “Hey, been a minute!” And keep running.
She smiled large and laughed and responded with, “Until next time!”

I didn’t look back. We crossed paths one more time, still no one else on the loop that I saw and I ended at the tip of the lollipop like I always do to stretch, admire the creation and just have a little quiet time.

Well…
Ugh. I hate this.
Well, this woman eventually comes running up to where I’m stretching and I turn to her to say how nice of a day it is for running. I can’t believe there aren’t more people out here yadda yadda yadda.
But this is where it went off the rails, she just kept approaching me. I didn’t budge. And she just kind of walked right up to me and kind of collided with my left side and her left hand reached and grabbed at my penis through my shorts.
I swear I kind of blacked out here. I was taken off guard. I didn’t know what to do. I just… well, I kind of just grabbed her butt as she continued holding my penis. I’ve only ever been with my wife so to have some other women touch me like that… I was instantly hard. It didn’t take much and this woman was so fit and attractive. My right hand squeezed her neck and her breasts and she reached into my pants and just started stroking me there on the scenic overlook. We never kissed but she made me finish. It shot all over her arm and onto the ground.
After the release, I was mortified.

I couldn’t believe what I had just done.
I couldn’t even utter a word to this woman. I just kind of walked away then started running. I hope I never see her again.
I don’t think I can ever run there again.