it SUCKS !!!!!!!

Back in April, I was two years seizure free. I was so proud of myself. My mom celebrated with me, we ordered a cake, it was a pretty big deal for both of us.

Last Sunday, I had another seizure. Unlike last time where they messed with my medication, my hormones were all over the place and so on, there was no clear trigger this time. At most it’s the stress from extreme migraines and appointments, but even that seems like a strange thing to only cause a seizure now.

I’m sad because all the progress is gone. I know I can rebuild it, but it still SUCKS !! It pisses me off!! Can I do anything about it? No, I can’t. Going forward, I just need to keep trying, but it really sucks to lose all progress at once. Especially because I was stable enough to test meds to better my mental health!! Now all of that will likely have to be put on hold and I can’t even take the ones I know work.

It sucks. It sucks soooo bad. I know it’ll get better, but it sucks!!!! I’m hurt, I feel hopeless, I feel scared because I don’t know what caused it and I just want to scream. Plus, I fell on my face, so now I have a black eye. At least my eye is so swollen it somehow looks like poorly done eyeshadow.

I do want to end on a more positive note and that is that, no matter what, I will keep trying👍 But sometimes, to keep trying, you need to get the negative emotions out first. Thank you.