How do you deal with your own emotions when putting your baby in daycare?

My 15-month-old daughter started her settling-in period at daycare this Monday.

She has never been cared for by anyone else, and since our family lives very far away, she doesn’t really know anyone other than her parents. She is quite shy around strangers and cries if anyone other than Mom or Dad picks her up. My husband and I try our best to respond to her needs: we don’t let her cry it out, and we accept that she still sometimes needs to be held a lot.

Yesterday was her first hour at daycare. I was filling out paperwork and stayed with her the whole time. She played a little, but mostly observed the other children and adults next to me.

Today, I left after spending 30 minutes with her and left her “alone” for another 30 minutes. I was on the verge of tears when I left. I managed to hold it together until I reached my car, and then I spent the next half hour completely overwhelmed.

When I came back to pick her up, they told me that she had played for about 10 minutes before crying. She didn’t calm down immediately when they held her, but eventually she settled. It broke my heart.

Thinking about what she might have felt in her little human heart makes me feel like a horrible mother who is abandoning her child.

I know this settling-in period is going to be difficult for her. I’m trying not to rush her or give in to the “pressure” of the staff’s schedule, but I think it’s going to be just as hard for me.

How do you, as a parent, deal with these feelings? How do you manage not to break down?