i js left japan

me and my family went to japan for vacation and yesterday we flew back home, all i wanted to do on that plane was cry. i loved being home again, even if not rlly. while in japan i also sobbed abt how i would never get my past life back, and that in this life i couldn’t go to japan and js be accepted as japanese. i feel absolutely horrible, and i js want to go back to that life. almost the whole time in japan i felt so euphoric and now i feel depressed. i wish i could go back, i want to go back so bad.