I cannot be happy for my sister and I feel so selfish about it.

My sister and I have a very large age gap (10+ years) so I feel like I'm comparing apples to oranges but I still cannot be happy for her.

I'm a very delayed university student so life has not been working out for me. I have no love life, no friends to rely on, and basically no support system. My mother (and the people I have met along the way) always say how I bring light to their lives and how happy they are to have met me as I influence their life (in a good way). We drifted apart so I don't talk to these people anymore.

I always make an effort to be kind to everyone I meet, to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and to basically be a good person. I constantly improve myself to not only be the best version of myself but for others to have the best version of me as well. Improving myself also involves my relationship with God so that's important to me too.

But I now feel like there is no point in being good and kind when I look at my sister. My sister is a very selfish person who wishes ill on other people. She is happy when others don't get what they want and sad when they do. She always criticizes and judges other people, even those that she does not talk to. She also consults psychics and fortune tellers for her future.

And yet, she gets whatever she wants. She got to have her dream wedding and gown, is married to a very jolly husband, was able to get pregnant naturally (the people she knows had to do it through other means or they had miscarriages), has a healthy newborn, and her in laws are paying for everything (their rent, bills, child's tuition, etc).

It's like what's the point of being good and constantly improving myself when I have firsthand experience of someone who does not need to improve herself and yet, gets what she wants?? Like, what's the point of all this??? What's the point of being good if this is how life will be??