AITA for being turned off by my girlfriend arguing in toxic "red pilled" TikTok live debates?
Hey everyone. I'm looking for an outside perspective on a situation that's starting to really wear me down in my relationship. Me (26M) and my GF (25F) are dating for approximately half a year.
Lately, she's been completely hooked on TikTok, specifically joining live streams where people have pointless, toxic debates. The topics are mostly "red pill" stuff: whether women are still attractive after a certain age, if body counts matter, and other degrading questions like that.
She joins to "defend" women in the comments or even participating as a l"live guest", but I've explained my logic to her multiple times: By sitting there answering them and trying to argue back, she's essentially legitimizing their premise. It's like she's putting herself in the boxes they've created and giving them validation by debating these things in the first place.
The real issue between us is when and how she does it. Even when I'm sleeping over at her place and we're laying in bed together, she'll put her earbuds in to watch the live and fight in the comments.
I want to make this crystal clear: I don't care that she's on her phone before bed. I care about what she's doing on it. It’s emotionally draining and a massive turn-off seeing my partner stoop to their level and waste her energy on such misery and random toxic strangers, instead of just ignoring them.
Sometimes she even sends me the live streams so I can see what she's replying to them. I never join, and I've told her bluntly that the whole thing makes me highly uncomfortable. When I tell her this, she doesn't react badly or start a fight, but nothing changes either. She just keeps going in her own world, ignoring how it makes me feel to have that toxic energy (even silently, through earbuds) right next to me.
Am I overreacting for being so repulsed by this behavior? How would you handle this in my shoes?
TL;DR: My GF spends endless hours fighting in red pill/body count debates on TikTok, essentially giving them validation. She does this even right next to me in bed with earbuds. It's a huge turn-off seeing her stoop to this level of toxicity, despite me telling her it makes me uncomfortable.
Posted Sep 8, 2026, 11:50 AM UTC