Confusing emotions

She dropped the want for the divorce on me in March out of nowhere, without a single conversation about being unhappy. I later learned about avoidant attachment styles which explains some of the situation. I asked to be able to work on things, for us to talk to a counselor, anything but she had been resolved to leave. She claimed she didn't cheat but evidence stumbled across later proved her a liar. We signed the papers in May and have been mostly no contact outside of issue with our dogs. Up until last weekend, I was feeling better about the situation, the rose-tinted glasses were gone and recognized the emotional abuse she engaged in during the lead up to the divorce. I still have bills tied to family plans for my phone and car insurance in which I deal with my ex m.i.l.. When I was paying her my payments for this month, without prompting, she had mentioned that my ex had said she was regretting everything. In the moment in the back of my head, I felt justified and relished in the knowledge of it. I didn't see this as a chance to get her back nor did I want to. However, as the weekend progressed, my thoughts spiraled. Do I want her back as she is now, hell no. But if she was the person I fell in love with and was willing to talk and work with me, yeah. I want that version of her. But I know that version is gone but a small part of me is screaming that maybe she will realize she fucked up and reach out. Part of me wants that but the logical side realizes that I can't trust her not to slide back or lie and gaslight me again.

I don't want to want her but part of me is starting to. How do I stop it?