Do not become a parent unless you're ready to support your child no matter what

Sorry, this is going to be a bit of a venting post, but I'm going through a rough time right now.

Earlier this year, my ex decided he didn't want to be a father to a daughter with disabilities anymore so, he fled the state with no back up plan for me and our daughter. He hasn't spoken to her in months and refuses to send any sort of money to help. I have a child support case open, but it's taking a very long time. Due to my daughter's disabilities, I can't hold a normal job so, I rely on IHSS and SSI for income. Just got the news that the hours I'm receiving from IHSS are going to be lowered to less than half. I'll be lucky to make a little over $300 a month.

I'm fully panicking now because how are we supposed to live with $300 a month? Now I think I have to apply for welfare, which is something I never dreamed would happen.

I think what's killing me the most is that this wouldn't be the case if my ex would have just helped, even a little. It's fine if he didn't care about me, but he could at least feel something for his daughter. He threatened me when he found out I opened a child support case and blocked me from everything so, there's no way of telling him how his daughter is doing. He never calls or sends an email so, I assume he doesn't care. I blame him for all of this. But I feel guilty because I should be giving my daughter the best life she can have, but it never feels like it's enough.

I'm sorry if this whole thing sounds disorganized. I'm just incredibly hurts and scared for our future.