No desire to make/have friends but I want to.

I need some help. I have never had any true desire or motivation to have friends, make them, or maintain them. It was always easier to do these things while in school because we’d be there at the same times everyday which made it easier to maintain

Now as an adult I have one friend remaining (I’ve known since middle school) and ever since we graduated high school, I’ve genuinely lost all motivation to keep them as a friend. When they’re a great friend. And they are very patient with the fact I’m antisocial and don’t bug me a bunch about it. But I feel like this isn’t healthy.

I do spend time with people still like my partner, son, family members, etc. I just feel like with friends I always have to put up a perfect mask and it’s exhausting. Even the closest friends I’ve ever had, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. But I want to be able to have friends or make friends in my future, does anyone have any tips how to get out of this mindset that I don’t want any friends