mostly a rant post about how i cant stop thinking about my exbsf who i was in love with, wouldnt mind advice though

we were friends for around 2 and a quarter years. (may2022-july2024) And its also been 2 and a quarter year since we *havent* been friend (july2024-now). so i understand its quite ridiculous that i still think about her.

but its not my fault, okay? its not like this girl isnt in my life anymore. she was still in my friend group until late 2025, so even after our friendship break up we still saw each other and were friendly for a year a half. she still comes back randomly into my life, mixes up my emotions and leaves yet again. we both stalk each others socials shamelessly. block. unblock. then block again. its never ending.

the worst part is I KNOW im not in love with her anymore. (WAS for like 1.5 years. october2023-mid2025) cause like i do not know her as a person anymore. so why fuck like whyyy do i think about her so god damn much. AND WHY DOES SHE STALK ME TOO. after like 10 months of no contact i kinda confronted her about stalking me (only cause she called my friend a weirdo for stalking her)

and she replied back saying sorry, i missed you

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. (i panicked. replied back saying oh. got blocked 5 minutes later yet again)

ive dropped another friend this month. haven't thought about that friend even once. i only drop friends for good reasons, same goes for her, so why is she, specifically, so damn hard to forget. she even has a fucking boyfriend. oh i hate that man. i wish i could just have some closure and stop this limerence.

another part is, i always text. she does reply. i know she wants to talk to me. but she never texts first. i just feel like a loser. fyi, she's also bi but i don't think she ever had anything for me.,