I’m confused on if I’m filling a void or if I rlly did fall

So I 21(f) recently got out of a 3y relationship that ended really badly. Iv never been good at making friends could be the tism or maybe something else. But I have this online friend who I connected with and iv know for about a year now.

After the breakup we started having these long conversations, conversations I could never rlly have with my ex (he was like a brick wall) he made me feel seen and validated once I told him what rlly happened between me and the ex. He spoke softer and watched what he said to me, made me laugh and smile and forget about my problems for a while . And honestly it’s something I rlly needed at that time.

I opened up a lot to him and he opened up a lot to me, we are both going through a breakup and he’s finally at the point of getting over it after months of us talking abt it, and now he’s kind of helping me through mine.

And idk I kinda just latched onto that feeling he gave me, a crush maybe ? It felt good to feel that way and get giddy to hear someone’s voice, when I haven’t felt that way in such a long time. I’m not sure if I actually like him for him or if he was the first person to show me kindness and speak softer and I liked how it made me feel.

Side note: I’m generally a flirty person, I flirt with my friends but it’s never serious. It’s entertaining and fun for both parties when we know it’s a joke. But with him as of late my “jokes” are now serious and he does flirt back but that could just be him carrying the dynamic from before.

I could name a billion things on what I like about him, but then again he’s an online friend I met through a video game ….. obviously it’s developed to be more than just video games now but I feel like a weirdo for latching onto that connection that he could purely see as platonic.

And then comes the point: is he a distraction that carries away my problems ? Are the feelings real or at the very least as real as they could be for an online connection ? Am I insane for feeling this?

Crazy part is I’m over my ex, but I still have ptsd from everything that happened, and if I’m being honest it does feel good to have something/someone who takes up space in my mind to distract me.

If I am just filling a void how do I stop? I want to be able to be comfortable with myself and being alone without something always to fill the void. Can it be both real feelings and filling a void? If so how do I stop both 😭

TLDR: out of long relationship and fell/filling void with online guy iv been friends with for over a year now. Not sure which one it is and how to feel about this