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frankiewanky

Transgender NQN, feeling a bit lonely and worried about new job

Newly Qualified

This is my first post so I apologise if I've formatted it wrong, posted in the wrong place etc. I'm still not sure how reddit works but doing my best to figure it out!

I'm a newly qualified adult nurse starting a job at the end of this month and am very nervous. Mostly for all of the normal reasons but also partly because I'm trans and won't have my university behind me if I have any issues. I know that at present I have trust policy, the union etc but am still a tad nervous.

I was wondering if there are any other trans nurses on here?

I know there's at least a good few of us but I've never met another openly trans health care professional and am mainly just looking for some community.

I have made some wonderful friends and am incredibly lucky that one of them has even got a job on the same ward as me, but it still feels quite lonely being the only openly trans person in all the areas I've worked in.

For some context on both my situation and worries:

I pass maybe 30% of the time and I suspect the majority of the times that I am gendered correctly it's out of politeness not a genuine assumption of my sex.

I have been on T for 3 years but am pre surgery and still appear largely fem + am working in a female dominated field, so it doesn't bother me anymore that everyone assumes I'm a lass. I am mainly openly trans because of this though, and I have been made aware of people talking about me previously.

Again, this doesn't bother me too much, it's natural for people to talk about new people especially if they're different in some way but it can feel a bit unpleasant meeting someone for the first time and the first thing I hear is that I'm 'the transgender one'.

I have not and do not anticipate correcting patients, their loved ones and the public on my gender. This particular point has been a bit of a debate amongst various groups of friends and family, though I am not inclined to change my current approach given the risks.

I am mostly worried about having access to a gender neutral toilet and the opinions other members of staff have.

I love caring for people and am genuinely really excited for this job, I don't want to go to work and feel that I have to defend or explain myself constantly. I'm happy to chat to people about it and even answer most of the typical invasive questions in a way that is satisfying to curiosity and makes it clear that others may not be as comfortable with these questions.

Advice is appreciated, especially on how to communicate my needs as a trans person, but I'm not going to debate trans politics.

I just don't want to feel so alone.

Thank you all.

Posted Sep 8, 2026, 4:56 PM UTC

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