How do get rid of this feeling of disappointment towards my friends just because of a stupid reason

TLDR my friends didn’t get me something I kept requesting for and I was just really disappointed

My first post here on this sub so yeah. My friends do little celebrations every-time someone’s birthday rolls about. It was my birthday about two weeks back (quite a while has passed so I just feel like a petty asshole) and I specifically requested a favorite cake of mine. It’s little routine where we get each other a requested cake and do a surprise. I told my friends this multiple times because I really adore that cake. To the point where my friends would laugh and say “I know, don’t worry.” I’m on a weight loss journey so I even decided to “calorie bank” for my birthday week as I had a suspicion they would surprise me - so I would able to fully enjoy that cake.

I don’t get this cake often because 1) it’s expensive (though split amongst my friends it was affordable), and 2), I’m on a weight loss journey. So again, I was looking forward to it.

Anyway fast forward, I got surprised, I was super happy, but it wasn’t the cake I had asked for. The cake they got me was still really delicious and I ate a lot of it, but up to now I keep feeling so disappointed because I expected something and didn’t get it. Like it’s the feeling of when you trust someone to do something after reminders but they just don’t. The cake didn’t hit the same because it just didn’t have all the parts of the other cake I loved so much and was looking forward to. This sounds stupid but I was really so excited for the cake. Like it had those crunchy bits, cookies, and overall a super sinful treat that I would have loved to eat it on that planned day instead of what they got me. I know I sound so petty. I didn’t bring it up to them because obviously they put a lot of effort in (they are truly good friends and good people. This was super unexpected - then again, we are all busy, so it might have just slipped their minds and both cakes are the same flavour - just very different layers and construction) to surprise me.

But I wish I could bring it up to them as I can feel the lingering disappointment and even resentment (that’s a strong word) but how do I do so without seeming like a petty asshole who holds grudges? I’m also open to criticism if it’s evident that I’m the one in the wrong. Please let me reinforce that they are incredibly sweet, thoughtful and generous people and marvellous friends! I think that makes this tiny disappointment all the more hurtful because it’s so out of character.

(They don’t sell the cake by the slice either, so it’s either a whole cake or nothing sadly)

Posted Sep 8, 2026, 4:57 PM UTC

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