Should I drop out of the sonography program?

(F19) Hello! I recently just started the diagnostic medical sonography program this past summer and this fall semester we just started clinicals. When I initially made the choice to be a sonographer, I was a senior in high school. I heard that it was a career where you didn’t need to go to school for a long time, gets paid a decent salary, and I thought it wouldn’t be too hard since all your doing is taking images. I applied for a direct admit seat, which means that they look at your high school GPA and you get a offered a seat based off that (you don’t need to go through the application process like everyone else).

When I was completing my prereqs last school year (freshman year of college), I was very hesitant about if this was still something I even wanted to do. I decided to go through with it anyway since I had that direct admit seat, and just tried to give it a shot. When I was doing my summer semester, everything seemed to be going ok, but I always felt deep down that this isn’t something I want to do for the rest of my life.

Now that I’m actually in clinicals and experiencing what it’s like to work in the healthcare environment, I could not hate it more. I knew it was going to be stressful, but I’ve been crying everyday for the past 2 weeks about how unhappy I am. I’m not excited to even learn about anything. When I watch other people do ultrasounds, I find it incredibly uninteresting and everytime I think to myself “I know this isn’t right for me”.

It’s not that I’m not smart enough because I am doing good school-wise. I just genuinely don’t feel any sort of passion for this whatsoever. If my heart is not fully in it, I don’t feel like I’m capable of doing it. And again, the hospital environment is incredibly stressful, I don’t think I have the mental ability to work there.

I’ve been trying to look into any other career options, but nothing really seems fitting for me. I think that if I were to work in any sort of medical related job, it would be this one. The only thing I’ve ever dreamed of actually doing and having a passion for is opening a shop of some sort. Specifically a book store/cafe. But I’m not even sure where I would start or where I would have this shop. It seems incredibly unrealistic and I’m scared I wouldn’t have a stable job. However, I’ve always had a passion for reading, doing something creative, art, and making people’s day.

If I dropped out of this program, I feel like I would regret it because of the time I’ve already put into it and the money I’ve put towards it. But I know deep down I will never be truly happy. If I imagine myself officially dropping out of this program, I would feel immense relief. I’m just scared that I will regret my decision and never find anything I can do career wise and live a stable lifestyle.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and please let me know what you think sounds best for me!! I’m struggling!!