Disabled and dating

Hi there everyone. Name is Cal. I’m a 28yr old disabled person who lives w/ my mum and grandmother—both of which have issues w/ hoarding, and my grandmother has a serious shopping addiction. She passes on all her excess stuff to us, and is offended if we give it away. My mum is also very disabled, may be going on dialysis soon. House is v v messy as I used to struggle too with shopping and letting things go, but I’ve been in therapy for a long time and got over it mostly. I work extremely hard every day at my capacity to claw myself out of the ditch I have found myself in. The big issue is I’m still v sick so haven’t had energy to make progress on it as much as I’d like, and house is also falling into disrepair because of my grandmother’s refusal to do upkeep as the homeowner. All that is to say, my last partner hated coming over so much he stopped coming about 5yrs in (we dated for 9yrs total, broke up this year). This was deeply wounding for obvious reasons. He didn’t offer to help, and he wasn’t outwardly horrible about it but he made it very clear and very obvious.

I’m the kind of disabled where just going out instead isn’t an option. I am 90% bedbound (because my mum is a couch-sleeper, so I live in here like a mini-apartment, so couch-bound may be more accurate for me anyway), and although I’m slowly improving, it is VERY slow going. I’m going to possibly be bringing over somebody I really really like and feel super safe with soon, because he’s asked if he can come over to mine sometime, as he’s dealing with a lot of driving anxiety and we’re figuring out alternatives to him always coming to pick me up. And I’m just really nervous about it. I don’t know how to break it to him the actual state of things with my usual pizzazz and sense of humour. I’m a very charming person normally, which I don’t say in any sort of pride I just can’t help it, but I like him so much it makes me uncharacteristically nervous. He’s very well-put together in his aesthetic and he said his house was a “depression pit” when I went over, but it was actually fine lol :’) so yeah. I just am very scared. Wondering if you guys had any tips?? TIA if you even read this, god bless!! 🙏🕉️📿🤍