When did you stop needing daily "proof" of safety, and what shifted?

Something I've been reflecting on lately that I don't see covered much here: the transition point where checking behaviors (phone, location, browser history, whatever your version was) stop feeling necessary every single day.

Early on, I needed daily reassurance just to function. Not because I distrusted my spouse specifically in that moment, but because my nervous system hadn't caught up to the idea that the ground wasn't constantly shifting under me. Checking wasn't really about catching anything: it was about buying myself five minutes of calm.

Over time, without me really noticing it happening, the frequency dropped. Not because I decided to stop, and not because I suddenly trusted fully again, but because something quieter shifted underneath. I'm having trouble naming what that shift actually was, though. Was it accumulated evidence over time? Was it more about my own nervous system settling regardless of what my spouse was doing? Was it couples therapy work, individual therapy work, or just time passing?

I ask because I think a lot of us in early recovery/early healing get told "it gets easier with time" as if that's a passive thing that just happens, but I suspect there's more underneath that. Maybe consistent small moments of follow-through from your spouse. Maybe your own work in separating their addiction from your worth. Maybe something else entirely.

For those of you further out from D-day or from active crisis: do you remember what specifically helped you need less daily "proof," or was it genuinely just gradual and hard to pinpoint? I'm trying to understand if there's something intentional I could be doing right now, versus just waiting it out.