How long until...

How long until the soul crushing pain leaves? I'm 17 months out. I've made it through donating her clothes, redecorating, holidays, firsts, etc. I got to the point of saying I'm 95% ok, 3% sad and 2% inconsolable pile of mush - I got to that point in about 4-5 months. And there are plenty of days that go by without a breakdown now.

But it still REALLY hurts looking at her pictures for example. Before I was consoled by them, now they've become painful. I can't bring myself to discard photos, personal belongings, heck her boots are still at the front door waiting for her. But seeing these now bring pain. I just found her school ids and she's so beautiful in them but now I've got tears in my eyes.

When does that sharp stabbing emotional pain go away? I know it's different for everyone, how long was it for you before started to live without that pain. Did removing photos, discarding coffee mugs and other personal items help? Most of the artwork I have hanging on the walls are by her. Do you lose a connection with your spouse when you take them down?