I'm not a particularly artistic person. I've never been one that could really express myself well through any kind of artistic outlet. Because of that, I tend to try to relate to the artistic expressions from others, music in particular. 

In my formative years, I got really into punk and ska. This was in the late 90s to mid 00s (damn I'm getting old) and around that time pop punk and emo were really getting big. These sub genres were honestly really not my jam. I was definitely much more into the less mainstream punk and ska bands and felt like most of the emo and pop punk bands that were trying to ride that wave all sounded the same. I say this all to make the point that this was why I never got into My Chemical Romance back then. 

I feel like the song that really put MCR on an upwards trajectory and that was a lot of people's first introduction to them was I'm Not Okay. While I didn't hate it at all, I definitely made the snap judgement at the time that they were another dime-a-dozen emo band of that time and never really gave them much of a thought after that.

As a result of that snap judgement, I never listened to The Black Parade until about 4 years ago. On 1/4/22 my mom passed away after an on and off again battle with cancer for a few years. It was not long after she passed that I finally listened to The Black Parade just through chance really. Happened to hear some stuff from it on a Tik Tok video and thought "wow, maybe I shouldn't have written this band off so quickly back years ago."

I don't think any music has ever really hit me in the same way The Black Parade did. I was just starting to really try to process the grief and anger I was dealing with from my mom's passing when I finally really discovered the album. I was so angry all of the time and wasn't even fully aware of how angry I was. The music on this album helped me heal in a way that would have been much more difficult without it.

My daughter and I just went to the show here in Phoenix on Sunday night and we were in the pit about 10 feet from the rail almost dead center. We also went to one of the shows at Dodger Stadium last summer but we were pretty high up at that show. Taking her to see this album performed in its entirety, mere feet from the stage, was easily one of the most incredible experiences I will probably ever have. I'm not ashamed to admit that I couldn't hold back the tears.

If you got this far, thanks for reading. This music has meant so much to me and helped me process so much of what I felt after my mom was gone. I hope that y'all have been able to find meaning in Gerard's art as well. He's created some pretty special stuff.

"Do or die, you'll never make me

Because the world will never take my heart

Go and try, you'll never break me

We want it all, we wanna play this part

Won't explain or say I'm sorry

I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scars

Give a cheer for all the broken

Listen here, because it's who we are

Just a man, I'm not a hero

Just a boy, who had to sing this song

Just a man, I'm not a hero

I. Don't. Care!"

This is a bit long so I'm not offended that I'm sure many people will scroll right past but I don't share a lot of what I'm feeling often and needed to just put this out there