I need this to make more sense

This is my second GDM pregnancy, and just second pregnancy in general.

The first time around, I was diagnosed at 28 weeks, I would have only complex carbs, eat veggies, meat, and every other thing considered healthy. While I didn't enjoy never having a sweet treat or only having one roll at dinner, it was fairly easy to deal with. I never took medication and I kept with my lifting regiment without it hurting anything.

This time? Nothing makes sense. Absolutely nothing. And it is making me unreasonably angry.

I was diagnosed at 16 weeks which already was devastating to me. (I felt mild traumatized my GD the first time--enough that I went to a therapist and dietician about it.) Then within days all of my safe foods the first time, (like nuts with cheese, peanut butter and whole grain crackers, low carb ice cream,) were causing horrible spikes. I was put on 1000mg of Metformin daily which also made me feel like a failure.

I was so confused. I kept trying different things but then one day one of my go to lunches of some berries, cucumber, carrots, crackers, protein rich yogurt, cottage cheese, caused my 1 hour number to be 146 I lost my mind. I was crying and telling my husband that this is ridiculous and I hate it. I had a peanut butter sandwich on white bread for my evening snack and my fasting number was 88. Wild. I had a BBQ bacon cheeseburger with onion rings and a side of french fries for lunch the next day, 1 hour post meal was 94.

I have since had everything that is on the "no list" and everything keeps my numbers low. I even tried the Chick-Fil-A chicken and waffle sandwich and has a 115. I have regular coffee creamer. I can't have protein shakes. I even have a cookie each day.

I am actually not meeting with an MFM yet, (I don't want to and my provider doesn't mind it), and I KNOW when I start meeting with them in a few weeks, if I continue my diet as is they are going to accuse me of lying about my numbers. I wish I was, because that would make sense and be logical. But complex carbs spike me and simple carbs do not. Minus rice, I can not find a type of rice that will work which is devastating because I want Thai and Indian food desperately.

Anyway, there isn't much to this other than complaining to people that are not my friends, husband, or mom.