Don’t know how to end a friendship right before my wedding she is suppose to be part of

Some pretext: we have been friends for the last 12 years since high school. Experienced loss and heartbreak together, as well as good times. I always thought this was my best friend who I would have for life.

The last year our friendship really took a toll, life got busy and I know I wasn’t the easiest person to get a hold of on the phone and horrible with texting people and that started off as her first complaint towards me. I’ve been this way since high school but I’ve always considered myself the type of person that if you need me I will drop everything to be there for you and with this friend I have done that multiple times throughout our friendship. I told her that I would try and do better and started reaching out to her more.

Things would get better between us but then a new complaint or issue about me would come up. She started saying how I don’t make time for her or see her as a priority in my life since I got with my now finance. I told her he understands that I see her has family and I would always make time for her when I could. I constantly tried to comfort her and let her know how much she meant to me but it felt like she never believed me. When I got engaged last year I asked her to be in my bridal party, even sent her a gift box asking her to be my MOH. She barely acknowledged my proposal box and when it came down to planning my bridal and bachelorette party left it all to my mom to plan. Her reasoning for not helping plan was that no one reached out to her or made her feel included and that I didn’t advocate for her to be included. I told my mom multiple times to make sure to include her and my mom would reach out to her getting no response in return. She wouldn’t even confirm if she was attending my bridal shower.

She finally said she was going after my mom had to call her multiple times to get an answer from her. My mom later told me that my friend opened up to my mom about our friendship and how she doesn’t think I want her in my life and that she feels like we have nothing in common anymore, and how she’s just a placeholder in my wedding and once the wedding is over I’m going to stop being friends with her. She also made comments about how I was doing my bachelorette party wrong and that I needed to find myself a best friend to plan a Bach party for so I can see how it’s suppose to be done (that comment was made because I told her I didn’t want any R rated gifts or toys because some of my family members were going to be there) and I also didn’t want have to deal traveling with any gag gifts she planned on getting me.

I tried letting those remarks and comments go and wanted to see if being in person would help things between us. The bridal shower weekend ended up being awkward. She hid out in her room most of the time, only wanted to talk to me if she could pull me away from everyone else and when I thought she was finally having a heart to heart moment with me she would start talking about her other friends and travel plans she has. She also made comments about how her dad didn’t know why she was coming to my bridal/bachelorette trip and my wedding because he’s tired of seeing her bend over backwards and doing things for people that aren’t there for her. Her interactions with me over that weekend and the comments she was making of how other people in her life were questing our friendship took me over the edge and after I went back home I called her to finally ask her if she truly wanted to come to my wedding. She got defensive and asked why I would ask her that when all she wants is to be there for me and be part of that day. I told her that if she keeps telling me and everyone around her that we aren’t close anymore, have nothing in common and she doesn’t feel like I care about her why would she want to me apart of my wedding or even me my friend anymore. All I got from her after saying that was how I’m hard to talk to and anytime she calls me she feels like I’m not truly engaged or cares about what she has to say. she was sorry for opening up to my mom and she shouldn’t have told my mom how she felt. Our conversation goes no where and nothing gets resolved. Now I think it’s best we go our separate ways and she doesn’t come to the wedding.

I don’t know how to talk to her on the phone without her putting all the blame on me on why our friendship isn’t where it once was and am just thinking about texting her but feel like I owe her another phone call. I don’t know what to do and how to not hurt her anymore than what’s happened.