How do I stop sleeping with someone I’m emotionally attached to? 😭

Okay so I’ve been talking to this guy for about 4-5 months now. He’s a family friend, which is actually part of what makes this whole situation so complicated.
There’s also a pretty big age gap between us (10+ years), which I feel like probably plays a role too.

When we first started talking, I told him I was attracted to him and that I wanted a sexual relationship that I hoped could eventually turn into an actual relationship. He was open to that. Fast forward, we ended up sleeping together a few times and the sex is honestly AMAZING 😭😭 like genuinely the best I’ve ever had. Sadly, somewhere along the way I caught actual feelings. I told him how I felt and his response was basically, “I’m not ready for a relationship.” So I accepted that, but part of me kept hoping maybe eventually he would change his mind.

The problem is, his actions make me feel like he only really cares about me when sex is involved. I’m ALWAYS the one initiating texts and calls. If I don’t reach out, we can literally go days without talking. He almost never answers my calls either. Sometimes he’ll decline it and say he’ll call me back later, but then never does. Yet whenever I see him and mention something that happened, he’ll say, “Why didn’t you call me?” 😭 Like sir??? I DID 😂 I’m also terrible at confrontation, so instead of actually calling him out, I’ll just say “I did” and change the subject.

And his texting is SO dry. I can text “Good morning, how’s your day going?” and just get a “Gm.” 😭 Or I’ll ask if I can come by later, he’ll say “yes,” I’ll ask what time, and then suddenly he disappears until the next morning with “Good morning love.” Like WHAT 😭😭
It feels like constant breadcrumbs.
And I know what you’re probably thinking: “Why tf do you keep going back?” 😂And honestly? Because I genuinely like him AND the sex is ridiculously good 😭. Whenever we’re actually together, we have a good time. But afterward is where I start questioning everything!!

There’s basically no intimacy outside of sex. No cuddling, no deep conversations, barely any affection. The kissing, touching, compliments, etc. mostly happen while we’re having sex. Once it’s over, it’s just… awkward🌚 I’ll literally be sitting there staring at a wall wondering why tf I did this again 😭. It makes me feel like sex is the only way I can get that closeness from him. He also prefers having sex with the lights completely off, which has made me wonder if he’s embarrassed or ashamed of me. And I KNOW that could just be me being insecure and reading too much into it, but it’s something I’ve noticed.

The worst part is the cycle.
We have sex → I go home feeling sad → I text him because I miss him → I get a dry “gm” or “ok” → I get upset → I ask if we can meet up to talk → I hype myself up and plan everything I’m going to say → I see him → I chicken out → we end up having sex → repeat. 😭😭
I’ve tried telling myself I’m done with this situation before, but then we end up right back here.

And this is where it gets EVEN MORE complicated: he’s also my family’s mechanic. 👨‍🔧😭
So completely cutting him off isn’t really realistic. Whenever something goes wrong with one of our cars, my family expects me to contact him. And even when I’m contacting him for something completely car-related, he still often doesn’t answer my calls or barely responds. So I feel stuck because I’m trying to create emotional distance from someone who I still have to communicate with sometimes because of my family.

I’m not expecting him to suddenly become my boyfriend or give me a relationship he doesn’t want. I just know I deserve more than what I’m getting, and I want to know where I actually stand with him so I can make a decision and move accordingly. There are also some things that have made me question whether I’m just ignoring a bunch of red flags because I like him. 😭 For example, his friends know about me and apparently joke about how they need to “get” someone young because they don’t usually get someone my age. 🙃
And one time I sent him a TikTok and when I asked if he had seen it, he opened his phone and I saw that my contact was saved under another person’s name😭😭

So I guess my biggest questions are:
How do I actually break this cycle? How do I stop sleeping with someone I’m emotionally attached to when I know it’s making me feel worse afterward? And how the hell do I have this conversation with him without chickening out? 😭

I’ve tried talking to him about my feelings before, including over text, and honestly… it didn’t really go anywhere. 😭 He basically just liked the message and that was it. So I feel like I need an actual conversation where I can ask him directly what he wants from this and where I stand with him. But again, the problem is I’m TERRIBLE at emotional conversations face-to-face. I can literally have an entire script prepared in my head, but the second I’m actually standing in front of him, my brain goes completely blank and somehow we end up talking about everything EXCEPT what I actually wanted to talk about. 😂😭 And then somehow we end up having sex and I leave thinking, “Girl… YOU DID IT AGAIN.” 💀

So if you were in my position, how would you approach this conversation? What would you actually say? And how do I keep myself from folding the second I’m around him?