Unfortunately I have to now be her lesson

Honestly, they can't help it, and without actual therapy, they will never change. It's quite sad. But now, as I'm slipping out of my six-year avoidant relationship, I know the patterns. I am so immune to their process that it's like I have a crystal ball for their behavior. It sucks because you really can't fully love an avoidant, even when you want to—they are just incapable of letting you.
I spent years doing this same song and dance, having broken up three different times. Every time, she would go through the cycle: get distant—especially at emotional times, like when your dad has cancer and you really just need somebody there for you—break up, go full force into her distractions, act like I don't exist, and stop messaging. Then it would move to shame and eventually regret, where we would try to rekindle our love and go back to the honeymoon stage.
But I'm done now. The biggest thing I'm done with is having to act like an avoidant myself in order to get what I need. It makes me feel like I'm using her attachment type against her, which is not very becoming of me. Oh, the things you will do for love. But once you see the pattern, realize how predictable they are, and realize you will only get what you need by acting like an avoidant yourself, it becomes easier to not see yourself in the picture—unless that is something you could do long-term. I have, and I can't anymore.
Honestly, most of the time now, I just feel bad for her. I choose to stay in hopes it will get better, knowing it never will, and knowing I will walk out of her life. In two to three months or so, I'll receive messages about everything, how we should have never broken up, "I'm sorry this, I'm sorry that." But this time I will be gone, and she will actually have to deal with the idea of me being gone. I really hate that for her because I love her so much, but it's the way it must be.
I really wish I could send this to her but it would ultimately just push her away lol so fucked.