Can I get some advice from blokes who've been in a similar situation please.
Hey guys,
This may be removed, and that's fine but it's a little more serious and I'd like advice from men who have been in this situation before.
I ended things with my fiancé 2 years ago because she cheated, and had a drinking problem. I stayed in the same house for just over a year as we had 2 kids and I wasn't able to afford a new place. During that time I tried to forgive her, but I was unable to. Her actions never improved during this time. She then ended up meeting another guy so I expedited moving out.
To further add to all of the above, she had ran up numerous credit cards in my name, a few catalogues etc so I had to get a small loan from work to be able to move out and afford the first month's rent/bond. I stupidly got a loan of 2.5k a month later thinking that would help me pay some of the credit card off and put me back on even footing.
Long story short, I'm drowning. I can't seem to get ahead of any of it. I've cut all of my pointless spends (streaming services etc) and tried to be as frugal as possible but I get paid and within a few days the money is gone, mostly on bills. I've got £180 my name as I managed to get a small % of my previous bond back recently when the tenancy for the old place changed into her name. I'm behind on my car insurance, my phone bill and asked the credit card to accept a min payment of £20 a month for a few months. My credits tannked from 850 so I can't get any other loans etc.
I know I can speak to debt charities to try and consolidate things, but I worry what that looks like in terms of moving forward. I'm doing my damnedest to keep my car, I lost so much to that relationship I'm aware I'm being bull headed but I'm hoping I can pick up a delivery job on the side. I've been to therapy, to try and navigate my feelings but I'm failing as a father, and as a man and I just don't know who else I can ask for help. I feel myself edging toward more extreme measures as I feel it's too much, but I know my girls both need me.
I'm sorry this is a dampner, I was just hoping to speak to some blokes that may be able to offer advice. I don't really know who else I can turn to.
Posted Sep 8, 2026, 5:07 PM UTC