Traditional men without traditional masculinity

I recently ended a relationship with a man who initially presented himself as extremely traditional. He said he was looking for a girlfriend who was beautiful and modest, attended the TLM, veiled at Mass, shared the “right” values, and generally embodied a very traditional Catholic ideal.
The problem was that he seemed to hold women to a much more traditional standard than he held himself.
He was heavily addicted to pornography and spent a significant amount of his free time playing video games. He was looking for a job, but he rarely had the qualifications for the positions he wanted, and whenever he was accepted somewhere, there always seemed to be a problem. He was in college for perhaps three or four hours a day and, despite living with his parents and not having a job, somehow never seemed to have much ambition or urgency about building an adult life.
He didn’t drive, and I never felt that he was making a serious effort to learn. I was almost always the one picking him up and driving us everywhere. Eventually, I had to ask him to take an Uber to my house so that we could go places from there. At one point, he also started asking me to split the bill.
There is obviously nothing inherently wrong with splitting expenses or having a relationship where responsibilities are divided differently. I understand that many couples choose to do things that way. But I come from a conservative family, and my father always taught me never to accept a man who wasn’t a gentleman. That is something I genuinely value and want in a relationship.
What bothered me most was the contradiction. If a man is going to be so intensely attached to traditional gender roles almost to the point of caricature, then he should also be willing to embrace the responsibilities traditionally expected of men. Traditionalism cannot simply mean having very specific expectations for a woman’s appearance, sexuality, modesty, and behavior. It should also mean having ambition, discipline, responsibility, integrity, generosity, and a desire to provide and build something.
Lately, I sometimes feel that parts of the Catholic world have created a bubble in which some men can indulge in a fantasy of finding the perfect woman: beautiful, submissive, modest, sexually attractive, traditionally feminine, veiled at Mass, and completely devoted to them while offering very little in return.
I don’t think that is traditionalism. It is entitlement dressed up as traditionalism.
A genuinely traditional relationship should involve mutual sacrifice and complementary responsibilities. If a man expects a woman to embody a very demanding ideal of traditional femininity, he should be prepared to embody an equally demanding ideal of traditional masculinity. You cannot demand the privileges of a traditional relationship while avoiding the responsibilities that come with it.