i think i have ROCD and i’m struggling to tell the difference between reality and my anxiety

i have been with my partner for several months now and i love him to pieces. it is one of the most stable relationships i’ve ever been in but lately i’ve been having this nagging feeling that i’m investing more than he is and he’s one foot out the door. he tells me all the right things and really there’s no evidence that anything is too terribly wrong but i can’t shake the feeling that he’s really just not that into me. he tries to do what he can to be supportive but sometimes he gets defensive (reasonably so). he’s so disorganized and scattered himself that he’s terrible with his actions following his intentions too.

i recently found out he withheld some things from me because he was fearful that i would react poorly (and i did, i was terribly upset he hid it from me and it made me feel like there was more going on than there was). i struggle with low self esteem already and i’ve been obsessing over comparing myself to others and wondering why it’s so hard for him to make me feel wanted.

i want to have a healthy relationship but am spiraling out of control lately and making myself sick convincing myself he’s cheating or falling out of love with me. i’ve become angry and resentful towards him and i’m disgusted with myself. i can’t even give him space to change the behaviors i reasonably need him to. for anyone who’s had similar experiences- what did you find has been helpful in overcoming this? thanks in advance