[20F/21M] First visit in 4 weeks. How do I talk about a closing the gap plan without making the trip feel like a job interview?

Together 1 year 2 months. I’m in the US, he’s in Europe. We met while I was studying abroad and went long distance when I came home.

On paper we “talk every day.” In practice he calls around 11pm–12:30am my time because that’s when he’s free after work. I keep picking up because I miss him. Then I’m useless the next morning and I start resenting the call I asked for.

I suggested a rotating schedule: three nights on his evening, two on mine, weekend mornings. He said that felt rigid and that we shouldn’t treat the relationship like a calendar invite.

I don’t need a military timetable. I need something that doesn’t leave me half-asleep every conversation.

What I want advice on: What call/text systems actually lasted in a big time-zone LDR, and how did you sell a schedule to a partner who thinks structure means the spark is dying?