I've been collecting plushies on and off all my life. I'm generally happy with it and my other nerdy hobbies. I've surrounded myself with people who accept me - it's not a lot of people but they are the ride or die ones. And yet I still feel shame from time to time? And it's usually not even anyone judging me directly, it's something like a friend saying "I'm trying to declutter more so the next move is easier" (they aren't planning a move, it's more of a general principle) when I've been thinking about which Douglas dogs I really want to get next all day. I know I would't be happy being a "proper" adult and I know there are legit diagnosed mental issues that make it pretty much impossible for me so I should get happiness when and how I can and I know that people in my life appreciate me but sometimes I still feel like such a disappointment. I bet my family saw my future involving having kids and a good job, not mental health issues and plushies. And it's not something I can change so why do I even have those thoughts.

I have days when I'm just proudly weird but eventually these thoughts still get to me. Is it like this for everyone?

(Picture of my fox Three just to make this post slightly less gloomy) 

Why does this still get to me