Should I message my ex

I’m really torn about whether I should message someone I dated 2 years ago, and I’d appreciate some outside opinions.

For some context, my dad has had cancer for a while. At the time, he had actually started getting better, and I was dating this guy and generally things were going really well. Then one night my dad ended up in hospital with internal bleeding, and we genuinely thought he might not make it. I completely had a breakdown, and I ended up messaging the guy I was dating ending things because I was just so upset, stressed and not myself.

I’ve seen him twice since then, then he went travelling and now we’re back living in the same city.

Looking back, I know I didn’t handle things well and I was quite horrible towards him. It’s something I’ve thought about quite a lot since. I’ve never really explained what was going on for me at the time, and part of me feels like I’d regret it if I never did.

I’ve written a message explaining the situation and apologising, but now I’m questioning whether sending it would actually be helpful or whether I’m just reopening something that’s better left in the past.

I wouldn’t expect him to reply, and I’m not trying to get back together with him. I genuinely just want to give him some context and apologise. And I regret what I did so much.

If you were him would you appreciate the message or want to be left alone?