Does anyone have advice for getting through denial?

Hiiii!! We had syscovery back in April, we’re a traumagenic system (likely OSDD-1b if we have a CDD, but not choosing to say that for certain until we can see a psychiatrist) and things have been going mostly well, but every once in a while, we still get periods of denial

It’s mostly the headmates that have been here the longest (such as myself) or the headmates that act similarly to me that get the denial- sometimes we wonder if we’re accidentally faking

I know you can’t really accidentally fake this- but sometimes I wonder if I’m not actually plural and I’m somehow deluding myself in some way???

I think we need to improve our internal communication a bit more- because sometimes I overthink if it’s actually someone up there talking, or just an internal dialogue. 😭😭😭😭

And the memory thing- we learned recently apparently blackout amnesia between alters isn’t as common as we thought. Which has helped our denial a bit, but still we wonder how much amnesia between everyone we actually have- sometimes it feels like quite a bit, sometimes it feels like barely any

We have a whole list of symptoms and other small things, we have friends who have backed us up in the fact they’ve noticed our plurality show in some aspects
Yet, even when we recall that, we still circle right back to the “what if I’ve just been deluding myself”

I would like any advice yall have on getting through or coping with the denial periods aughhhh😭😭😭😭😭😭
If it helps at all:

- We probably aren’t going to be going to a psychiatrist for another few years, we wanna get moved out of our parents’ house first

- Our therapist won’t tell us if she thinks we might be plural or not, she says that she thinks she’d be doing a “disservice” to us if she told us her honest opinion. And back when we had our sessions about plurality, they were becoming deeply stressful because we just didn’t have the right words to explain things back in April.

- We are hoping to change therapist once our insurance stops covering our current one, our partner-sys’s therapist is a lot more knowledgeable about plurality, and I think it’d be good to try and switch to her.

Any advice on handling denial would be appreciated aughhhh

-Flurry🌸