Their pessimism and doubts

This post's drafts was somehow deleted twice. I was talking about my family's pessimism and doubts on me.

Basically I want to be YouTuber and they are really pessimistic. "what if you fail?", "I don't understand what you are saying", "You will do it later, now you must return to college, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids and you can start it". It makes me lose my mind. College made me depressed. I don't want to return there. If I return, I'll Kms the very first day.

The psychiatrist they took me told me that I lost their trust. He said to my grandma that they should treat me as a young adult. you know what she did? she forgot the advice after talking to him. So that psychiatrist was hypocrite.

Nobody cares about me. Everybody cares about my mom. Because she is mom. Who am I? I am just depressed, weird young adult (or kid if you look from my family's perspective). Nobody cares about my health. My family cares about their reputation and religion instead of my health. When I dropped out of college, they said "what about my reputation? what will people say?"

All I wanted was to follow my dreams. I don't want to talk to them anymore. I'll write a post about how I was forced to fall for my mother's lie when she said "maybe it was the good" after I dropped out of college.

please don't be judgemental about my decision on dropping out of college. college made my young life miserable. I don't want to return there until I am financially and emotionally independent. I was already judged by everyone I know and people I don't know.