RANT: My Daughter is Now Better Than Me at Golf

My oldest picked up golf randomly when going into high school. Some people in the family play but she never really expressed an interest so was surprised, but supportive. I get her intro lessons, a Strata club set, golden retriever headcover and whatever balls she wants.

Fast forward two and a half years. She gets to play golf year round through the school and her coaches. Has Youth on Course so plays for 5 bucks. Gets lessons whenever she wants. Bought her a Callaway driver and Mizuno irons. Right on the edge of the varsity team and got her letter last year.

Then we go on vacation and I pick up the tab for a couple rounds with her and she has the nerve to beat me by one, tie me the next round, and beat me the following round (because I counted my penalty wrong and she also has the temerity to know the rules better than I do.)

And now, every once in a while, she'll look at me and ask, "So, how does it feel to know I'm better than you at golf?" and my wife will quickly interject "He's very proud of you" while I glare at her, eyes burning with the heat of 1,000 suns. My rounds cost 60 bucks - not 5 or nothing. I'm working all day, year-round while she has time galore to dedicate to the game. She probably plays 20x as much as I do. Like, I'm sorry I have responsibilities to raise and support my family and can't just keep chipping away at my crappy handicap.

Like when I was young, she disappears with some friends to the course now she has her license (though she's not doing it to also smoke cigarettes, like I was). She now knows who Scottie Scheffler is. She DEFINITELY knows who Charlie Woods is. She only wants to use neon Taylor Made Distance+ balls and poo-poos anything else. I barely recognize this girl.

Anyway, I'm super proud of her and how hard she's worked, over 2+ years to drastically improve (don't tell her that). She's a perfectionist and a hard worker and occasionally very grumpy coming off the course, but she's earned the right to talk shit.

I really thought I had more time left to lord over her. I hope she continues to love the game for the rest of her life and that I can also start avoiding that stupid commercial with the old dad leaving the voicemail for his daughter about their golf trip which kills me inside every time I see it.

It tolls for thee, my friends. It tolls for thee.