Am I unreasonable to want my friends to want to be present for my wedding?

I'm 30F and have had a solid group of friends since freshman year of high school. We've been roommates, concert and festival friends, and have been there through all the hardships of our 20s together. My partner came in 3 years ago and they've all been good friends with him as well. A couple years ago, I had a falling out with one of the friends, let's call him T when we were roommates. My mom and I were in a rough spot and he chose to side with her as well as consistently pay rent late so I had to spot him often. T will come back later.

Another friend, let's call him A was single and interested in meeting a friend of my partner and I's so we set them up. He ended up doing something she didn't like so she just decided to remain friends and he was also not feeling it so the feeling was mutual.

Now here is where the problem starts. I had a house party and invited my group of friends over but A could not make it. At some point in the night, my partner made a joke to another friend, let's call him O, about the gesture that A made while hanging out with the woman we set him up with. In my opinion, it was nothing too crazy as the people in the group make these jokes about each other all the time even when the other person is not in the room.

Prior to this party, I went out with O, another friend, let's call him W, his partner, my partner, and another woman, let's call her M. W wanted to set up O and M and it seemed like it was going well but when the night ended, my partner, O and I had a debrief about the night and they just weren't aligning on their lifestyles so O said long-term, it probably wouldn't work. Short history: O and I had a fling pre-covid that didn't last because of how we wanted our futures to look. It was short, never even made it to the gf/bf stage and ended quick. My partner said that it wouldn't work out with O and M because of their different views for the future just like how it didn't work out with O and me and it was mature to acknowledge that and not pursue it as it was mature to end it with me knowing long-term it wouldn't work. In my opinion, it was just an example.

The RSVP due date was coming up so I sent out the link to reply and A said he wasn't going to make it. At this point, A lived out of state so I mentioned that I understood that travel costs were high and I understood if he couldn't make it. He said it wasn't the money that was the issue but that my partner made a joke about him behind his back and he doesn't fuck with that. O talked to A about it and said it was insane that my partner made that joke. This then caused phone calls between me, O, and A and we never came to a conclusion really. None of them reached out to my partner. I just told him about it all. Eventually, my partner called A and apologized but it didn't really go anywhere.

Then, O declined the RSVP and didn't say anything so I called him to figure it out. He said he didn't appreciate what my partner said on the night out with M and W about us and that my partner was insecure about the past so he wasn't going to come. We had a call for about an hour and I thought it went well but I still thought it sucked that he didn't want to come because if that was me, I'd still show up even if I hated the person my friend was with. especially with us being close friends.

Fast forward to the wedding. The day was awesome, we had lovely people there, and a lot of people showed up for us. It was great. A couple days before, I get a text from T saying he had no malicious intent about our falling out and congratulations and he wishes us well and he hopes we can reconcile. I asked him if we could talk after the wedding and honeymoon because I just had too much going on and he said that was fine. I had a friend in this group fly out, let's call him P. I thought P was going to stay with W while he was in town since W is in the same city. I guess P chose to stay with T instead who lives an hour and a half away. T drove P to the wedding and just sat waiting for P to be done so P and W ended up leaving early and said it was to drive back because T's headlights were out and they couldn't drive in the dark. I barely got to see them on the day of the wedding. In my opinion, P should have made accommodations to stay closer to where the wedding was at so he could have stayed longer. After all, he flew out for the wedding. I even said he could stay at my house but he chose not to.

Day after, I texted P and W to hangout before P left town and all P said was "sure." Idk if I was reading into it too much because of them leaving early but it seemed like I was just bothering him instead of him being excited to hangout. We hungout, P paid for W and I's dinner which was nice and I mentioned that it sucked that they left early because I wanted to spend more time with them and W said he was intending on coming back but P said he just had to go.

Then I get a text from O saying that he wishes us well and hope the wedding was good and sorry he couldn't be in attendance. I replied saying I appreciate it but I'm just disappointed. A lot of my partner's friends came early to help and were calling him a lot through the planning process asking him what he needed and they were just so attentive so I mentioned that to O and how I was just jealous that my partner has that and my friends were seemingly nowhere to be found. O said all the help is the wedding party's responsibility and it's ridiculous to expect people to be there from early to late when they have other obligations like work the next day, travel, etc. I told him I understood that and I wasn't expecting other people to read my mind and just show up to help outside of the wedding party but I was just jealous that my partner's long-term friends were so attentive and mine weren't. Some couldn't even show up.

O and my partner have a call scheduled to figure out their issues and I'm meeting up with T to figure out reconciling, but at this point, I'm wondering is it even worth it? On top of this, I had 2 other long-term friends not come but it was because they had a family wedding so I wasn't going to make them choose mine over that one. But they told me about it a month prior to my wedding after they already RSVP'ed yes so it was another thing that compounded onto my disappointment and it just sucked. I didn't even want people to come early to help. I more so wanted them to hangout after all the wedding stuff because I missed them and wanted to see them. The DJ left at 9 PM and we gave the attendees over 8 months notice to plan ahead. I wasn't trying to make it a nuisance for people who had to work the next day. We planned it in a location that was easy to get to. I tried to accommodate as many people as I could. I was just hoping my friends would want to be there. I'd be there all day if it was for any of my friends. Am I wrong to be disappointed?

TL:DR

My long-term friends had small issues with my partner and chose not to come to my wedding. Am I wrong for being disappointed?