Something has been on my mind lately. I know it's not the best opinion but yeah just a thought...Here you go, I can already feel the hate coming

Nowdays a lot of men call out women for going for height and preferring taller guys despite being short themselves. And the thing which is always pointed out in these discussions is that height is not even a thing which you can control. It's genetics and cannot be changed. Then many comparisons are drawn such as women are judged for weight which is controllable unlike height and women have it easier.

But...what about skin color?

Skin color isn't controllable. It's genetics. But still a fair women in India is considered beautiful even if they are not fit or do not have good features etc but a dusky women is rarely considered beautiful. I know you might be knowing some beautiful dusky women but let's not deny that when boys write posts about their future gf they are most probably already imagining a fair skin girl already.

You won't believe but even in my college the fairest girls are the most popular and most boys want to be around them, even if they are mean or fat. No hate..a few of them are the sweetest people but still , just because of fair skin they are automatically beautiful.

My mamu is dusky but my mami is very fair skinned. So my cousin sis (in 5th grade right now), the age where kids play carelessly and have fun and go to school..that 10 yr old girl says atleast 10 times a day that "main itni Gori aur sundar hu main kya karu". These things have been put into their minds. It's sickening

[Sorry I kind of trauma dumped ahead so it's fine if you don't read what's below]

I'm dusky and as a kid my mom constantly told me stuff to apply on face etc for my color but I remained strong and told her I don't care and it's my skin color and I love it like this. Of course I used to feel insecure sometimes but I was still strong minded. My main confidence booster was 11th and 12th because in my coaching class there were 2 guys who had approached me and asked me out.

So I actually did think skin color does not matters much now.

But I was left heartbroken when before college my mom's skin lightening solution ideas became more intense than ever. I was waiting for counselling results (fk neet) and suffering at home (very abusive and toxic household). Finally her words broke my confidence and one day I said that I want to visit a dermat which she had been telling me about for a week. You know what my mom did? She got so angry and started saying very horrible things to me. She called me slut and a whore, and what not. I had been that girl raised by strict parents who never objected to restrictions because I knew it would lead to even more fights. I never had friends growing up. I never went to birthday parties. A transparent lip gloss was the only fancy thing I owned. I was hit for wearing a simple bead bracelet given by my teacher as a gift for topping in my class. I never did anything. I never talked to boys. Never asked for anything. Still I was called such terrible things by my mom.

Just because of my skin color. Whenever I visit relatives (who are even more worse than my parents) they never fail to mention my skin tone. (It's not even very dark that they are suddenly pointing it out..I feel bad for even thinking like this...but when I went through that I couldn't help but have those thoughts in my head)

I hate this so much. I wish I was fair skinned. I used to be so mentally strong when I was a teen (the age where insecurities peak) but now I am in college in since the last year and it has been hard to look in the mirror(I already have body image images because of my parents , the worst part I am fit and always have been, my friend in coaching used to ask me bcuz I wasn't too skinny but I wasn't skinny fat either.)(just because of my round face and my visible cheeks my parents made me hate myself so much. I was called so many names and what not)

Maybe if I had been fair my mom would have liked me just a little bit more. Just a little bit. I'm starting to tear up. Sorry because this so much more longer than I had thought. I have already been told by many people (on reddit ) to seek therapy so yeah please be a bit understanding, or not.

Now there are days where I'm searching up those tablets for fair skin and I find myself reading the side effects and being okay with it if that's what it takes for fair skin tone.