I know he’s wrong for me. I just need help learning how to move on.

I’m struggling really badly after ending a relationship with someone I loved deeply.

He hurt me constantly. He insulted me, said horrible things about my family, and over time his anger chipped away at my self-respect and confidence. I kept forgiving, understanding, and hoping things would get better.

Eventually I reached a point where I simply couldn't take it anymore and I left.

But now he says hateful things because I “left when he needed me the most.” And the hardest part is that he doesn't seem to understand how much he actually hurt me. I don't think he even realizes what he did to me.

The confusing thing is that I still love him. I know, logically, that this person is wrong for me. I know I deserve better. I know going back would probably just put me through the same pain again.

But knowing that doesn't make the pain disappear.

I'm not looking for people to tell me he's a narcissist or diagnose him or tell me what an awful person he is. I already know the relationship wasn't good for me.

I just want help navigating the grief. How do you stop loving someone who hurt you? How do you stop replaying everything in your head? How do you get your self-respect back after spending so long feeling like you weren't enough?

I don't want him back. I want myself back. I want to be happy again. I just don't know how to get there yet.