I’m tired of my parents

I’m 17 year old and not really good in studies and I don’t have many friends as well and I just forget about myself in this constant toxic environment… today I got into fight with my mom and I was wearing shorts which was till my knees as well and still she said me no straight on my face & then saying do whatever you want , it’s so frustrating as well I even asked her to wear saree ( traditional clothing for women in India ) but she kept quiet and I asked her for dinner and she still kept taunting me and I was making egg omelette as well and I got so angry and yeah I threw the pan on the floor and yeah still she didn’t & then I threw a bowl which striked her hands and it swelled up I get it I need to regulate my emotions & have patience but everyone have their patience level right ? So yeah I’m in mess both of my parents are just emotionally draining and have heat & cold relationship with them and yeah I can’t study in these situation as well I just feel hopeless & and having serious urge of killing myself