Finding a relationship as an autistic, lesbian woman

I'm in my 30s, and dating apps make me feel so dysregulated and disheartened. The majority of people seem so adventurous, many are seeking casual encounters and are often poly - there's nothing wrong with any of that, it's just not for me. I really wish I could find someone similar to myself, someone who likes being at home, doesn't have any great ambitions, is autistic and looking for a long-term relationship with someone they can develop a really deep, intimate connection with.

I don't feel as if I fit in with the queer community, so attending queer groups or events doesn't feel right. I'm not looking for more friends, I just long to find another hermit who wants to chill at home with me.

Just venting... perhaps some people here can relate?