I don’t like my hair

I grew up around Somali community when I was younger and always noticed how my sisters 3b curls were treated better than mine at the hair salon I would have to stay longer and get extra treatments in my hair that damaged it a lot at one point I did have long hair and was happy with it despite it being type 4 but I lost a lot of it after lockdown due to vitman and iron deficiency so it was the stereotypical short type 4 hair and the bullying from my mum and relatives got worse.

In my family even amongst my wider relatives we were a group of people with tighter curls around 3c-4b so I was always surprised seeing people say Somalis usually all have type 3a hair or even type 2 hair or some thing along that line. I also grew up around other Somalis & in general and I’d usually mostly see type 4a/4b so that surprised me even more - especially with how different that narrative was online.

I also didn’t see much rep for my hair type online, I’m sure the reason was bc my hair type is considered embarrassing especially on girls and it made me feel very excluded and insecure - I think the worst experiences was when non Somalis would question what my hair looked under my hijab and assume I had looser curls around type 3, I used to go along w them and lie saying I did have type 3 hair without showing my hair cuz I was insecure I once did show my hair to one of my friends and she is african too and she was shocked saying I thought most Somalis had looser hair which made me feel even worse. I still wear hijab & am hesitant because taking it off meant showing the hair I’m supposed to hide and my mum always made me hide around relatives.

I think at some point in time for a very short period I did like my hair but now it’s looking like I never will.