A 41-year-old guy lured me, a 22-year-old, into his apartment, hid the fact that he has a girlfriend, and our mutual 70-year-old "friend" is backing him up.

I have to get this out of my system because I am going crazy from the sheer amount of hypocrisy and toxicity of the people around me. It all started when I met a 41-year-old guy at a bookstore (I am 22). I liked him at first, it was a public thing, everyone around us knew about it, and so did he. We started talking, he would often call me around midnight, and we would talk for an hour about everything. The guy was openly flirting. I told him he was good-looking, and he would throw out slimy lines like how I would "see him naked." When I suggested a discreet hang-out, he agreed.

He kept constantly asking about traveling to Zagreb. One night he called around 1:30 AM and invited me over to his apartment. Upon arrival, he was dressed in loungewear and under the influence of alcohol. He attempted physical contact, which was refused. The interaction moved to the bed for comfort, where he continued unauthorized touching and made inappropriate comments about my body. When he attempted to progress further, a clear refusal was stated. He then suggested a compromise of lighter physical contact.A refusal was stated again, and the night was spent in another room.

In the morning, he claimed the situation was a mistake due to intoxication and then disclosed that he was in a long-distance relationship.Had his relationship status been known beforehand, no contact would have been initiated. He is now attempting to shift the responsibility, claiming he was misled, despite his obligation to disclose his relationship status.Documentation of the interactions exists, including call logs, messages, and video recordings of the apartment.

A mutual acquaintance, a 70-year-old woman, subsequently defended his actions and minimized the deception regarding his girlfriend, shifting the blame instead. When informed of the infidelity, her response dismissed the relevance of the action. On the same day, during a difficult academic examination, this acquaintance offered criticism rather than support, comparing the situation negatively to extreme hardships faced by others.

Furthermore, she later shared details about the arrival of his partner and their upcoming travel plans, suggesting that such happiness would not be replicated here.The individual has a reported history of frequent relationship changes and infidelity, supported by the acquaintance who maintains a positive public image of him. Contact with both individuals has been terminated to focus on academic and personal well-being

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The situation raises several questions regarding interpersonal dynamics:Will the truth regarding his actions eventually become public?

What is the appropriate course of action regarding the preserved evidence and whether to inform his partner?

Given that his partner is 39 years old, is it possible she is aware of the behavior but chooses to overlook it due to personal or societal pressures regarding marriage?What are the long-term social outcomes for individuals who engage in or enable this behavior?

What psychological principles explain these manipulative behaviors, and what factors contribute to attracting such dynamics?