41 [M4F] UK HAVE YOU BEEN MISSOLD AN ONLINE AFFAIR? If so, you might be entitled to compensation. No win. No fee. No dignity..😂

Hello and welcome to my completely legitimate looking advert.

Have you recently suffered from:

• Getting excited when your phone vibrates, only to discover it’s an email from Tesco Clubcard?

• Spending 20 minutes writing a witty reply, then deleting it because you suddenly sound like your dad?

• Developing an emotional attachment to someone whose actual surname you don't know?

• Checking Reddit approximately 47 times a day hoping someone interesting has appeared?

Then you might be entitled to speak to me.

I’m 41, based in the UK, and apparently still optimistic enough to think I’ll find someone on here who wants a bit of flirting, laughing, escapism and an actual emotional connection.

I’m not looking to fix your marriage.

I’m not looking to become your therapist.

I’m also not interested in hearing about your “dead bedroom” for the 900th time.

I’m looking for something simple.

A message that makes you grin.

A bit of nervous anticipation when you see my name pop up.

A conversation that accidentally lasts three hours.

Someone you look forward to hearing from.

And yes, I appreciate this is Reddit, so there’s a 73% chance you’re currently thinking, “This bloke is going to be an absolute disaster.”

You would be correct.

Looks wise...

Imagine Brad Pitt.

Now imagine he’s been in a fight with a T Rex.

I’m six foot, blue eyes, medium muscular build, shaven head, although this was less a style choice and more a hostage situation involving my hairline.

I have incredible legs.

I’m told I have a ridiculously good voice.

Apparently it’s so sexy it should come with a wet floor sign.

I have no idea what that means, but I’ve decided to put it on my CV.

I’m reasonably funny.

Occasionally charming.

Emotionally available.

And fully house trained, although I still require supervision when operating the barbecue.

If you’re looking for someone to have a laugh with, flirt with, talk absolute rubbish with and see where things go, drop me a message.

Worst case scenario, we have a decent conversation.

Best case scenario, I finally get to stop writing adverts like a desperate solicitor.

Kind regards,

Your potential compensation claim.

No win.

No fee.

Probably no idea what I’m doing either.