How did you come to terms with ghsv 1/2 and live with it?

i (18m) since august of last year was diagnosed with ghsv1 and ever since then i’ve become a shell of who i once was. I tell myself it’ll get better but it’s a consistent loop of that mindset and it seems like there’s no way out.

my ex gave it to me and when i informed her that she did, all she told me was “i’ll get checked” and then blocked me on every platform you can imagine. It feels as if all we went though was for absolutely nothing and she only got high off of the thrill of the attention i was giving her and then jumped to a new relationship weeks after.

not only that, i unfortunately gave it to a different girl after me and my ex parted ways with no idea that i had it (before i got a diagnosis) and the guilt of that eats at me every single day because she was such a sweet girl and didn’t deserve a burden as big as that.

i try make light of the situation by joking about it to my friends, but even then it doesn’t help at all and only worsens my mental health.

I feel as if that i’m not worthy of love anymore, there’s so much negative stigma around hsv entirely so i’m afraid to open up to new people about it because they’ll judge me for having something that i didn’t even ask to have.

I imagine on a daily basis if i didn’t have it, i could pursue more intimate connections properly. back then i was a person who was driven by lust, but now all i wish is for someone to comfort me and see me for who i am and not some walking parasite who awkwardly exchanges hello’s with.

how did you come to terms with ghsv1/2 and what helped you get out of this hole?