I want to cut ties but I feel like I can't, please give me advice

Hi everyone. Please talk some sense into me because there is nobody around me that will.

I’m 30F and he’s 33M. We met 11 years ago and were together for almost 8 years. I ended things because the relationship became physically, emotionally and sexually abusive. He now lives in another country, so we don’t see each other and only speak over the phone.

Since the breakup, my life became very chaotic. I became disabled, became estranged from my parents, lost a close family member traumatically, and lost the friend group I had at the time, which was also tied to him. Through all of this, he remained my main source of support because I felt like he was the only person who really knew me.

This has created a cycle: I tell him I need space, we don’t speak for weeks, I have a crisis and he’s the only person I can call, we reconnect, he says things that make me deeply uncomfortable even though he isn’t openly abusive anymore, and then I need space again.

I’m on a waiting list for mental health support and have joined some social groups to try to rebuild my life and support network, but it’s difficult and I’m still dealing with a lot on my own.

He also still has some belongings at my house, mostly clothes, artwork and random things with little monetary worth. He says he wants them back and wants to come see me and my cat “one last time.” I absolutely do not want to see him, and I can’t afford to ship his things internationally. I’m also scared that if I throw them away, he could cause legal problems for me.

I told him again today that I need space. Part of me wants to just block him and finally move on, but I feel incredibly guilty and I’m scared of how he’ll react, especially regarding his belongings.

How do I actually break this cycle and cut contact without feeling like I’m doing something terrible? And what should I do about his belongings?