I think I'm ready to give up

Four years. Four years I have been fighting this body for the chance to evem have a glimpse of the woman I wanted to be. And it has been nothing but four years of humiliation.

I went totally bald in two years. No one else in my family has ever had that happen to them. My father who has 35 years on me has more hair than I do. All of my grandfathers and grandmothers have relatively full heads of hair. All of my cousins do. Me? Nope, I lost it all without any warning or explanation and nothing works or helps.

I have added every conceivable medicine and treatment, I started HRT, I have been as consistent as I can possibly be and it has amounted to nothing. I'm twenty-nine, I was twenty-five when I started, and I have no idea why my body is so broken and why I'm so undeserving of even the smallest bit of progress.

So I give up. This has completely destroyed my life. I am becoming an increasingly bitter person watching other girls get everything I ever wanted and fought so hard to get, and I refuse to let that destroy what little remains of my sad little existence.

I am a man. A bald man. That is all I will ever be and it is all the world will ever see me as. So I'm giving up and going home in the hopes I can salvage some tiny bit of my life and do something good with it.