No contact? Or whats my best Chance…

My boyfriend (M, 32) broke up with me (F, 28) four months ago after six years together. We had a lot of arguments. Although, of course, we both contributed to them, I think a lot of it was also related to my fear of abandonment and the insecurities that came with it, as well as jealousy. My ex is also someone who has said that a non-monogamous relationship would fundamentally suit him better. However, he assured me that he could also be happy in a monogamous relationship, etc.
He also tends to be more avoidantly attached, while I have a more anxious attachment style, which led to the typical dynamic between us: I would cling and seek more closeness, while he would withdraw. I wanted to see each other more and have more contact, whereas he needed more space and freedom.
He had tried to break up with me several times before, but never managed to go through with it. He also often said that I would have to change first in order for him to change, or things like, “This is just how I am. Deal with it, or leave me!”
After the breakup, we agreed to have four weeks of no contact and then meet up to talk. But we never actually had that conversation because we simply had a really nice time together and ended up being intimate. Afterwards, he said that he would like to have more nice meetings like that, but that, for him, they did not represent another attempt at the relationship. He said he thought we were not a good long-term match and that he believed he would stick with that decision.
Nevertheless, we continued seeing each other. We had a great time, things were very harmonious, and we behaved almost as if we were still in a relationship. This went on for about another four weeks. Then I picked up my things from his place and wrote him a letter saying that I couldn’t continue with this kind of situation and that I wanted to cut contact unless there was at least some possibility of building something new between us.
He replied and said that the only circumstance under which he could imagine reconsidering things would be if he had confidence that the changes I was making were permanent. He said that he currently lacked that trust and that rebuilding it would be difficult, if not impossible. He also said that he still loves me and misses many things about us. At the same time, he thinks things are only going so well right now because we are no longer in a relationship.
After that, I reached out again and said that I would like to stay open-minded and see how our contact develops, and whether that trust could potentially be rebuilt. We met again and had sex, and it was really nice.
The next day, I asked him whether he actually wanted that trust to develop again. He became upset and said that he is happy being single and does not currently want a relationship. He said he doesn’t rule out getting back together at some point, but considers it unlikely. He also asked me to simply stay open to seeing how things develop, as I had written in my letter.
We then met up again, and once again it was really nice.
I just keep getting very mixed signals from him. I can clearly feel that he still loves me and has feelings for me. I am also currently in therapy to work on my fear of abandonment, and I have a lot of guilt about having pushed him too far and ultimately causing him to break up with me.
Looking back after the breakup, I realize that I was very caught up in my own emotional “movie” and that I should have made real changes much earlier. But at the same time, we were both deeply stuck in our dynamic and kept triggering each other.
I found out through a friend that he is on Tinder and is probably already having sex with other people, and possibly even dating. Of course, I don’t know for sure. He didn’t want to be transparent about it and said that we would only tell each other about other people if we had sex without a condom.
I genuinely still want another chance with him. I feel like I understand our dynamic much better now and am actually working on myself. I believe that our problems were solvable. I love him very much and don’t want to throw away six years together. Even though our relationship wasn’t always easy, we have a very special connection and so many things in common that I don’t think are easy to find with someone else.
He also asked me again to meet up, but I declined because I was on vacation. Afterwards, he sent me some songs, and since then he hasn’t reached out again. I didn’t respond to the songs either, so there hasn’t been any contact from either side.
Should I continue seeing him and hope that, through spending time together and having these positive, harmonious experiences, he will eventually realize that things really can be different between us and reconsider his decision? I mean, could he consciously or subconsciously still see these encounters as a kind of “chance” for us?
Or would it make more sense to stop having contact for a while, so that he can actually experience what it feels like when I’m no longer available to him?
And have any of you experienced a friends-with-benefits situation after a long-term relationship eventually turning back into an actual relationship?
And please, no responses along the lines of “just forget about him.” Love isn’t always rational, and I don’t want to leave any stone unturned.