Goude Ingliche (joke ahh conlang)

I made a joke conlang called goude ingliche that I made it entirely PHONETIC ENGLISH ahh clong...

For example: "I have thirty apples" becomes "Ey hev thirdi appelz" and "Clutterfunk is harder than xStep" becomes "Klaterfank iz horder dan Ex Step" 🥀

In this conlang, everything is phonetic. And btw the voiceless th is still th and the other is d for some reason 🥀

And this ahh sentence: "Electroman Adventures is hard that zoink won't beat it at the very first attempt." is in Lagunish: "Electroman Adventures soìa hardè theit zoink noto vincèda er en tha primèra atternta." Meanwhile in goude ingliche: "Ellektromen Advuntchurz iz hord dat zoynk wont bit it at da furst attemt."

How many out of 10 does this clong deserve?