Where do I go from here?

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So for context, I am 32, husband 33. We have been together since 2012, married since 2014. He cheated January to July 2025. I found out in July 2025. We tried working past it for our kids (4 kids who are all under 8), but I couldn't get past seeing him as the person who betrayed me and took MY kids to see his affair partner. It was too hard for me to reconcile and get past the amazing partner I once had, and who he showed me he can be. I told him I wanted a divorce, but together we agreed that we would stay living together until the youngest is in pre-k.

I've had a shitty childhood in which I was humiliated plenty of times by people who did not want to take care of me but were being paid to. I do not want that to happen to my kids, I have been a stay-at-home mom since my second oldest was born which is about 4 years. I would only have to stay living together eith him for two more years.

I don't have any kind of worry about going back into the workforce as I have my bachelors and Masters and have pretty good amount of experience in the workforce of my field. I am on here trying to figure out where do I go from here? We are together because we agreed that it would be best for the kids for them to still have their mom until I go back to work, but I iust feel so out of place. I don't know how else to explain it. but I am no longer the doting wife, I don't know how to navigate and move in our new coparenting relationship.

When I get home if he is in the living room I don't sit in the living room with him because it just feels hurtful, all the intimate time we used to spend together was talking about our goals and dreams and shared experiences, but since we don't have shared experiences lately unless it has to do with the kids it's kind of awkward to sit with him. So I end up going to my room because we are in separate rooms but I also don't want my kids to always see me in my room.

I guess I'm just trying to ask what do I do with this time until we are officially separated? I just feel like I am in limbo. We have a great co-parenting relationship, we never argue in front of the kids and they don't know anything they think everything is okay, just that we are sleeping in different bedrooms because we each sleep with one of the babies. Any and all advice about anything I wrote is welcome.