Is this a misunderstanding?

Hey everyone.

So me and my bf had been long distance for a few years and we have sex phone quite often. We are into CNC kink stuff. Since it was all over the phone we didnt have an agreement on what will happen irl, nor did we agree on a safe word. We did talk about a safe word and we chose something silly but I never really used it and I dont even remember what it was.

Even over the phone, I never used the word to end anything, I end or stop any advances by just saying no not now or something like that. Again never really agreed on this, so all CNC stuff are imaginary and scenarios after we start.

So now, some things happened when we met and I felt strange about them. Note though that I didn’t exactly feel violated, but it made me feel weird about him.

So this is what happened:

One time, we were doing anal, and during it started hurting me. I told him it hurts, he said “do u want me to stop?” and I have said before “no, it is ok” and he would continue. This time I said yeah, I didn't say it loudly or scream or anything, and it wasnt like super painful, but the thing is: he continued anyway until he finished. He def heard me and he knew I meant it, like thats not something we agreed to ignore. (I didnt finish here)

Another time, he started something and I didnt react to it, or said “not now” playfully, I dont remember exactly, then he said “well it is gonna happen anyway, u can choose between that or this or I will decide for u” and started counting. I didnt choose anything, but I didnt say anything and I was going with it, to let him choose. Then he did, and he did what he chose, no foreplay, and then he finished without asking me if i wanna come or making sure that I did, as if he assumed it is only for him. I felt weird abt that afterwards. Note tho: I asked him to help me after he cleaned up and he did.

Does this sound okay and just a misunderstanding or is it a red flag?