When did you start feeling functional again after TFMR?

Hi everyone. I’m in Canada and I’m 14 days post-D&E of our first baby at 20 weeks due to structural anomalies. It has been an incredibly difficult couple of weeks, and I’m hoping to hear from people who have been through something similar.
The first week was mostly about physically recovering. My upper body was extremely sore for about three days after surgery, and on day 7 I ended up in the ER because of a suspected infection. I’m taking antibiotics now and thankfully feeling physically better, so I’m hoping I’m finally on my way to a full physical recovery.
Mentally, though, I feel like things have gotten harder rather than easier. I’ve cried every day, but around day 8 the grief became almost unbearable. I just cannot stop crying. I miss my baby so much. I’m angry at the world and keep thinking about how unfair all of this is.
My husband and I try to be good, responsible and kind people, and I just cannot comprehend why this happened to us. I know terrible things don’t work according to who “deserves” them, but emotionally I still find myself asking, Why us? Why our baby?
The thing giving me the most hope right now is the thought of trying again someday and hopefully having a family. But that has also created another source of anxiety. I constantly worry that I could have had complications from the D&E or infection that might affect my fertility. We’re also waiting for genetic counseling to hopefully confirm whether our baby’s condition was random, which is what the doctors currently believe, or whether genetics played a role.
The anxiety and sadness feel completely overwhelming and consuming right now. I don’t want to leave the house. I don’t want to see friends or even family. Sometimes I feel angry watching everyone else’s lives continue normally while my son died and our entire world stopped.
There is guilt too, even though my husband and I still believe we made the right decision. We didn’t want our son to suffer, and every decision we made came from loving him.
There was also a lot of trauma before the TFMR itself. I went through several fetal interventions in the hope of improving our baby’s condition. After everything that happened and then the D&E, even thinking about going back to a hospital makes me cry.
I had my first therapy session yesterday. Based on my answers to the PHQ-9 questionnaire, my therapist told me that I’m experiencing severe depressive symptoms and said that medication might be needed and I should bring this up to my family doctor.
I’ve been reading about antidepressants, and I understand how they can help, but right now I don’t feel ready or comfortable taking medication. I’m scared of side effects and risks, especially when I’m hoping to TTC again in the future.
For anyone who went through TFMR and experienced grief this intensely: did you take medication, or did you initially try therapy and other forms of support without it? How did you decide?
I’m only 14 days out from losing my baby. Is it unusual to feel this non-functional and devastated at this early stage?
For those who are further along in this journey, when did you start having moments where you felt somewhat functional again? When did the grief become a little less consuming?
I’m currently off work and fortunately don’t need to rush back. My job is extremely stressful, so for now I’m really focusing on my mental and physical health.
I know everyone grieves differently. I think I just need to hear from people who actually understand what this feels like.
Thank you for reading.