Advice Needed

TW: spousal abuse and alcoholism.

I (20F) come from a very tight knit family. My uncle has always struggled with alcoholism, and it was openly talked about but not really acknowledged if that makes sense. About a month ago, apparently his wife had given him an ultimatum: her or alcohol. He chose to go to rehab. The day before he left, he got super wasted (his usual) and put his hands around her neck. My family says he didn’t squeeze or anything, but I’m not sure I believe that. He left for treatment the next day and was gone for a month. He got back a week ago. Here is my issue: I despise him. I think he is vile, gross, evil, disgusting, etc. I told my grandma today that I love him but I do not like him. There is a long history of addiction in our family and my grandma attends Al-Anon meetings regularly. Because of that, she is preaching the teachings, which is forgiveness. Obviously they acknowledge what he did was awful and are not supporting him in any way besides calling and checking in on him or being a listening ear, but still talking about forgiveness. I don’t think I can forgive, and even if I could, I don’t think I want to. This is the only time he has even been physical with his wife but once is enough for me. I have told my grandma if he starts drinking again, I will not be around him, and I don’t care if that ruins christmas or whatever. I don’t really want to be around him sober even, but for the sake of family I guess I can be. I did tell my grandma though that when I am around him I do not want to talk to him and I don’t want him to talk to me. I will never get in a car with him driving, will never trust my future kids alone with him, I don’t want my little brother to be around him and be influenced or taught that you can beat your wife and get away with it. My dad is very hotheaded and as most alcoholics, my uncle can be very mouthy. I have always been nervous when they’re around eachother but now it is so much worse. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to cause a divide or a rift in my family or for them to be upset with me. But I do not understand how on earth they are so forgiving of an abuser, even if it was due to his disease. My grandma says she understands where I am coming from, but she still tries to change my mind. Any advice/tips/opinions/experiences welcome.

TLDR: Uncle drunkenly beat his wife, went to rehab, and now everyone wants to forgive and forget but I cannot even stand the thought of his face. How do I not divide my family while also having my own boundaries and morals?